The Borders We Build, and the Ones We Cross

A talk by Djamila Baroudi

The Borders We Build,
and the Ones We Cross

We cross borders to come abroad, then forget the ones we build in our own heads.

Story 01 France · the hole

I was stuck, and the wall was in my head.

From Algeria to France, with a master's, a PhD, another master's. The degrees should have meant the job. They didn't, and I got stuck in the dark. My husband kept saying learn a skill, give something back. I couldn't.

The takeaway from the hole

You can't podcast your way out of a hole.

Inspiration isn't action. Only changing my life could move that wall.

01

The wall in my head wouldn't move, so I made a decision.

Story 02 The decision · Germany

So I changed the environment.

I was lucky: a husband who hurt for me, and no heavy burdens holding us down. We moved to Germany, and my life started.

The takeaway from the move

Sometimes you can't think your way out. You have to move.

Change the room, not just the mindset. Even the man who killed ninety-nine was told to leave his land and repent somewhere new.

02

New country, clean slate. And there, something found me.

Story 03 Berlin · the community

In Berlin, I found my people.

It began with my relationship with Allah, and the sisters who helped me rebuild. Then like-minded Muslim friends, a gift from Allah. Some are in this room today. They changed everything.

The takeaway from the community

Your circle is a gift, and it shapes who you become.

Sit with people who pull you toward your best self. Tell me your friend, and I'll tell you who you are.

03

With my people around me, I finally dared to.

Story 04 Berlin · the microphone

I raised my hand. I remember the shaking.

At a Babel panel they opened the mic. I chose the scarier thing: hold it, say my name, ask. My body shook and I did it anyway. Still the shy girl, but moving, step by step.

Djamila at her first panel, Babel event Berlin — the first wall I broke, Berlin

The takeaway from the microphone

You break the silence, you break the wall.

Action creates courage, not the other way around. Do it scared.

04

And once I'd broken that wall, I wanted to give back.

Story 05 ReDI School · the women

I went to help those women. They saved me.

I went to give, but they saved me. Like Sobha, who took the Saturday train from Dresden to learn to code, and cried on certification day holding her child's flowers. They carried me. Alhamdulillah.

ReDI School graduates holding their certificates — the women who saved me

The takeaway from ReDI

You think you're the helper. They're the ones saving you.

Whoever helps his brother, Allah helps him. I went to give, and I received.

05

Those women handed me my confidence back. And I needed it, because.

Story 06 The job · the negotiation

The first wall I really broke was my salary.

After years of waiting I had the job, and I was terrified to rock it. I was going to ask for 5%, thinking maybe I'm not enough. A friend said: ask for what you deserve. I asked for a crazy number. They were shocked, and I got far more than 5%.

The takeaway from the negotiation

Ask for what you deserve, and say no when you need to.

Don't settle. You won't get what you don't ask for, and you don't owe anyone a yes you can't give.

06

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With that new confidence, the next door opened on its own.

Story 07 The AI workshop

Then the AI workshop came, and I said yes.

A private Muslim school in Paris, where my friend teaches, needed AI tips. I offered a small call, then it got serious. The Djamila of two years ago would have said no. I went in person, for free. Best feedback they'd had in years.

The takeaway from the workshop

Say yes before you feel ready.

Readiness is a myth. A year of "someday" loses to one "yes."

07

And saying yes kept leading to the next yes, until it led me.

Story 08 This room · the dream

And now, this room. My dream, getting closer.

Aula asked me to speak here, and I said yes before I had a subject. My dream since I was young: to help and inspire in the Muslim community. A friend heard and said, with tears: your dream is starting to come true. It hit me. It is.

The dream

To help and inspire women, starting with this room.

Whatever wall you're facing, you don't have to break it alone.
Find your people. Ask for the crazy number. Say yes.

Thank you · Djamila Baroudi · alhamdulillah